You know that a taboo is strong when there isn’t even a word that’s consistently used to refer to the taboo. So it is with thanatophobia, a term that refers to a fear of death as if that feeling is an unreasonable, psychologically harmful thing in itself. Another term some psychologists have for this feeling is death anxiety.
Mostly, however, people just don’t talk about this feeling at all, except to urge people to move away from it as fast as they can.
The Healthline web site advises, “Death anxiety is real, and it can control how you live your life. But it doesn’t have to.” How could worry about death not control how you live your life, though? We are all going to die, eventually, and death is, no matter how much you sugarcoat it, a significant loss. Pretending that death isn’t something to be bothered about is obviously unrealistic, out of touch with the fundamental issues of life, but there’s no clinical term to describe the psychopathology of people who deny the reality of death.
It’s as if psychologists themselves feel uncomfortable dealing with the truth of death. The psychologist Timothy J. Legg writes, “Death anxiety can be perfectly normal. The fear of the unknown and what happens afterward is a legitimate concern. But when it starts interfering with how you live your life, it becomes problematic.” Death interferes with how people live their lives, however, regardless of whether they accept it or not.
Why should we be expected to get over the looming threat of death, given that no one will ever overcome death itself? Given that we’re all facing the tragedy of death, it seems more decent to accept the validity of thanatophobia without judgment.
When you’re facing something that will utterly destroy you, and you can’t do anything but delay its triumph, being upset about it isn’t the problem.
