The Meeting Place, a sculpture by Paul Day at the St. Pancras rail station in London, has been criticized by some as being too schmaltzy. The main part of the statue shows a man and a woman embracing. People in love, say the critics, has been done.
A part of the frieze at the bottom of the sculpture, however, runs counter to the statue’s central image. In this particular frame, a man and a woman embrace, but as the man runs his fingers through her hair, the woman holds up an iPhone behind his head, to check her notifications while enduring the affections that she is clearly indifferent to. If he knew what she was up to, he would feel phubbed.
A person who feels phubbed is offended when someone they’re trying to socially interact with ignores them in favor of their smartphone. In a research paper, published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior and titled My Life Has Become a Major Distraction from my Cell Phone, James Roberts and Meredith David found that the experience of being phubbed had a negative impact on life satisfaction and relationship health.
The study has been referred to 36 times on Twitter… not that Roberts and David are checking.
If you think that feeling phubbed is something experienced only by the young and dating, think again. A study of Chinese couples and phubbing verified the findings of Roberts and David, concluding that, “Results indicate that partner phubbing is a significant risk factor for depression among those married more than seven years.”
The researchers who contributed to this second study suggested the development of “stop phubbing programs”. A program, however, can’t take the place of authentic human interest. If your partner consistently snubs you in favor of a smartphone, the relationship is over. Staying in the hope that this on-screen fling will end can only lead to phoneliness.
