Nihilistic

Nihilism is a difficult thing to talk about, because most of the time, it’s nothing more than an insult that self-styled philosophers hurl at each other. Intellectually, nihilism is always on shifting sands.

When it comes to emotional experience, however, nihilistic feelings are on solid ground, and they’re more common than people would like to admit.

A nihilist is somebody who feels that there is nothing left for them to believe in. This is why philosophical nihilism is just a pose. A true nihilist would feel that there’s no point in making logical arguments about nihilism, because there’s no reason to believe that logic would change anyone’s mind about anything, and no point in creating or defending any particular philosophy.

Nihilists become that way not because of the way that they think, but because of the way that they feel.

A nihilistic emotion is the feeling that there is no reason to hold on to ideas or ideals. Nihilists have tried to retain their beliefs, but the world has responded with devastating reality, exposing these cherished principles as pointless. It is not nihilism, because it is not a school of thought, but a direct emotional experience of being without belief, from the inside out.

A nihilistic feeling is a step beyond despair. Nihilists have been emptied of despair. They can no longer find any reason to rally themselves in defense of ideals that, to them, have the consistency of vapor.

Nihilism need not be the end of an emotional journey. When belief has been annihilated, it remains possible to craft a new kind of system of meaning, not based on belief, but out of nothing. This departure into new meaning is as emotional as nihilistic experience itself, because it retains the sense that there is nothing certain in the external world that is worthy of sustaining belief. The new, post-nihilist purpose is knowingly constructed out of the emotional desire for the world to be something more than empty of purpose, even if that desire can never be factually satisfied in the world.

The new purpose comes not from the world, not from any faith, but from the nihilist’s own desire to live as if with purpose. Given that nothing can be relied upon, nihilists may make the bold decision to rely on themselves.